margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
