We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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