Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
