I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
