who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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