Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
