i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
