Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
