He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
