The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
