I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize