i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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