My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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