I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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