so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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