We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
