You made me cry and you don't even care
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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