im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
