I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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