WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
not ubering you a puppy
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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