My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
