He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
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