y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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