i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
