omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
