Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
