sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think I am morally bankrupt
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
