Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
