Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
