im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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