Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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