your thong is hanging out like whoa
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
