I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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