she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
