Kiss
Puke
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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