come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize