Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize