Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize