im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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