Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
