these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
