you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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