My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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