but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we made out on top of his cat.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
