yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You took a bar mat shot.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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