Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
