U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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