Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
