he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
