That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
