When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
