so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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