he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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