i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
