Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
