and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
