no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
