If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize