You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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