Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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