Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need water and some morals
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
