New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
