I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
