the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
