yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
